reality check

One of the biggest things I would say about bringing home older children- at least in my daughter's cases- is their lack of reality.

 

Think about it- they grew up in rural Africa in a mud hut for a decade.  They went to school but their school did not teach about the 'world' (explained in last weeks 'school post')

 

They are taken in a car for the 1st time. Put on a plane and landed in America.

 They saw elevators, escalators, modern technology, and more in such a short time.

I always say it's like they went on a time wrap.

Sooooo....with that being said...

 

when they watch a cartoon about a space adventure and we explain that there are fast airplanes that have taken people to the moon- they were shocked.  But when we read a fictional bed time story of kids bouncing on the moon- they asked if we ever did that! 

 

Looking back- books and movies seem to be the culprit.  We never talked about santa or made a big deal about him- BUT they watched one of those cute santa classic movies and then went to the mall and saw 100 kids in line to see him!  Just yesterday (march) he got brought up and I said he is not real- "but mommy, I saw him in at the big store!!"

 

Disney Princess's- they LOVE.  Sova showed pictures of her standing w/ one of them in front of the castle.  They went nuts and said, "wow, mommy Ethiopia has no princesses."

 

They have asked me how Tinkerbelle can fly and Jerusalem who made gingerbread houses around the same time that she watched Cinderella- calls Cinderella, "Gingerella."  It's so funny because she loves 'Gingerellla' and talks about her alot!

 

A friend let them borrow some American girl doll movies- they are not cartoons they are real actress's...so when they asked me if we can ever go see them- and I said- no they are just in books- they protested, "no, I see in movie!" 

 

Even with words:  Sova was eating a hotdog  - "ewwww DOG! "  When Jacob said, 'no- it's not really a dog- it's pig!"  That did not help any...ewwww you eat pig!"  

 

Coming home in October it wasn't long before we started heating our house with our woodstoves- that 's our only source of heat and the only heating they ever knew too. 

So when we would go over nana's cold house (w/ no woodstove) the girls would say, "oh no- nana no fire!?!"

 

I have explained to them that some people  have hot air instead but to this day when we walk into a cold house or building (church and  gym class every time!)  Jules will say, "oh no- where's the fire?  No fire! Oh no!"  That just cracks me up every time!

 

They still find the washing machine to be the biggest mystery in the house...where DOES that water come from...

 

The kids play a game in the car- every time they see a yellow car they yell- 'skittles!'  Once day Jerusalem figured it out and after seeing a yellow car said,, "oh oh oh BINGO!!!!!"

 

We toured a Titanic exhibit at the aquarium- with all of the pictures and artifacts it was easy to explain to them what happened.  While walking out, one of them said, "See mommy, Ethiopia- no boats- we no die- that good!!"

  Oh no, it may take lots of convincing that there are no icebergs on the lake when we go on grandpas boat this summer!

 

One time the girls were going to play outside but I told them to jump in the shower first.  It was December and around 4 something.  They came out of the shower and I see Jules run to the window and say, "Oh my goodness!  Bed time!  No sun!  What happened!  America crazy- no sun!"  LOL  light going into the shower- dark coming out...just another ride in their twilight zone...

school stuff

After spending some time raising children from 3 different continents I have learned that kids are kids- they really are just the same. period.

When reading their school books they want to know where they are going to stop before they even start- so they can tab the page.

  

Day 2 in America I started school with them.  I didn't really plan it- they forced me.  When doing school w/ the younger three I wanted the twins to wander and play and just 'be.'  Not just for their sake but for mine- I was terrified of doing elementary school with five children- that's a private school!

  But they would wander in, sit down and ask for school.  Sometimes I would say, 'later,' but  Helen would always ask, "Why?"

 

                                         1st week home

 

Right now I have no idea what to call their grade- but it doesn't really matter now...they are sooooo bright I have no doubt that they will be graduating with their age peers.

They are doing 1st grade reading- Cat and the Hat books and those early readers (not bad for not knowing 1 word of English 6 months ago!!) 

 

They are doing 3rd grade math curriculum (addition/ subtraction and multiplication)

They see that Jacob does his 4th grade math using a computer program that they are so interested in- so after I explained to them that once they finish their 3rd grade math they get to use Jacob's computer math program- Helen started doing 3 days of math in 1 day.  She probably does 3 weeks work of math in 1 week because she wants to use that computer program so bad.  Im letting her do this as long as she keeps getting the answers right!  Talk about ambitious...(and she's the one who is contemplating being either a doctor or a nun...no kidding there;)

 

They are 1st grade spelling, and I have them practice lots of copywork.

 

They listen in to our history and science books but this is one HUGE gap that I see in their education.  It's pretty obvious they did not have these subjects- sometimes it shocks us what they don't know.

 Examples:

they have never seen pictures or heard about TONS of animals.  Sharks, whales, almost all sea creatures expect fish.  Bears- They had no idea about.  A kangaroo- they thought was hysterical- they cant wrap their mind around the whole pouch thing. 

 Mystic aquarium was a thrill for them- during the sea lion show- where the person commands the sea lions to do things- the girls  looked shocked and totally confused about how the animals can hear and obey....must of even been a little creepy!

 

 

Walking in our woods they have asked if we have tigers.  They have told us countless stories about hyeenas in their own area.  They are so scared of hyenas- they told me that when there mom was out at night they would stack things up behind their door so that hyenas would not push their way in! 

 

They have no geography or history education.  They  know very few names of African counties- never mind Europe, Asia and the Americas.  They are not familiar with maps and globes- which blew my mind again...I could have pointed to Vermont and told them that was Ethiopia and they would have believed me!

 

History is totally confusing and Im sure they are not grasping any of it- Im just glad they listen in to my reading- I know they aren't able to comprehend about Columbus or the Middle Ages right now when I read about this stuff to the kids- they never heard of England-  ...it will just be really interesting stuff for them when they hear it again later and actually comprehend it.

 

Food is still a daily struggle.  Helen hates everything dairy (except icecream of course!) her teacher would force her to drink milk with she said, 'but there was flies on it mommy, gross!"  So she wrote off all dairy for the rest of her life.

 Jerusalem doesn't like chicken- which is 1/2 of the meals I make!   Most fruits and veggies we give them are new to them and they are still scared to try lots of things.  They eat...so that s good...but with the girls strong aversions to many different foods, Caleb's food coloring allergy and Jacob's supposed to avoid gluten...it's no wonder why I hate to cook!?!

 It's a God miracle that their favorite food is venison- it make's Mike supper proud that the girls go crazy for it :)

 

 

 

to be continued...

almost 6 months (part 1 ;)

 

On March 30th the twins will have been home for 6 months!

How did that happen?

Almost 1/2 a year down...that's just too crazy. 

 Because literally they are leaning something new everyday- it still feels like they just got here!

 

They still question everything and there is so much more that has not been seen or experienced.

I am soooo looking forward to summertime w/ them!!

 

If I think back to when we were about to go to Ethiopia on our second trip to bring the girls home I had so many crazy feelings!

 

Of course I was totally excited- I couldn't wait another second until they were home. 
 I also felt like I was jumping into a river that I had no idea where it would take us.  I had a lot of fears- how would my 3 younger kids do, what would going from 3 to 5 kids be like?  would the twins even like me? will they ever learn English?  how in the world am I going to home school them?   were they going to come home as trauma victims and need therapy?  I'll stop there because the list gets crazier and crazier!

 

If I had a glimpse into March 2013 I would not have believed it.

 

 

God is so good.  He is merciful.  He is peace.  He is healer.  He is love.

 

I look back at pictures of the girls from last year and they look totally different to me.  Yes they grew like beans when they came home but their whole faces changed-  the early pics we have they look scared- terrified even!  God broke down the walls so fast!

 

October was defiantly the Honeymoon.  All we did was tickle, laugh, and play games.

 

Then the holidays came- in a way it was a distraction from the craziness.   There were defiantly some overwhelming days for the twins but we all survived. 

 

The snowy months of January and February were a blessing.  The newness and culture shock passed- the holiday whirl ended- and we were able to just BE. 

 

These were the months were we all really melded.  There was  no need to lay with everyone in bed for hours.  We started enforcing vegetable eating and following through with discipline.  The novelty of cleaning things  wore off and the chore charts became my sanity saver.

 

I am astonished at how quickly they learned English.  I don't even know how it happened.  They were quiet for 2 weeks...on week 3 they started using a few English words here and there and we would smile- laugh and praise them for their effort.  Then everyday they just leaned more and more words and started putting them together.  We are still in the "me" stage- they don't speak 'proper English' - it goes like this right now,

"Jacob, me use your game first?"  "me go with daddy to store?"  "yuck, me no like chicken, why black?  smells bad" 

They have 100% comprehension, and if they don't understand what we mean they ask and we explain.  Once a day they will tell me something that I have to really think hard and try to figure out what they are trying to explain- and then the light bulb goes off and we laugh together about it.

 

I don't know if twins come as any more opposite- from food tastes to personalities they are extremes!  

(although part of the mystery was solved when they recently told me that before going to the orphanage they got spilt up- 1 girl went to their uncle far away and another girl went to their aunt far away -still in Ethiopia but different regions where they spoke a different language.  the twins didn't see each other for a year and they were raised in very opposite settings and had opposite experiences- which defiantly molded them into what we are seeing now!  I love when I get new pieces to the great puzzle!   I cant believe some of the things these girls had to go through already- they have so many stories!!)

I keep encouraging them to talk to each other in Tigrinya so they don't loose it. They mostly speak English to each other- which again amazes me that I have to remind them to speak their native language! I don't think they will loose it. They listen to the Bible in their language on an audio at night sometimes, and they read their Bibles in their language too- so as long as they are reading, listening and occasionally speaking it- I think they will keep it.

 

 Everyone knows Helen is the shy one.  She is the taller one.  She is ambitious- strong willed- creative/ artsy.  She's great at math and loves to draw.  She likes things fair and square and has a compassionate heart.  She cant stand sad things and refuses to go to bed if Mike has not come in to tuck her in.  She is the one that is usually holding my hand or pulling me out of the door to go home if we are out.  She has the most beautiful smile- it honestly makes me stop in my tracks.  I tell her she needs to use it more in public where she puts on a grumpy face to avoid outside contact w/ the world at all costs...although she is slowly progressing in this department ;) 
She is so girly- loves pink, dolls, ballerina's, babies, and gets easily grossed out...she's a complete princess.

  She is very affectionate- her favorite spot is curled up on one of our laps and I think she needs 10,001 hugs a day to stay alive...which I don't mind.  She is our lovely dovey who leaves daily love letters around the house for us!

Helen hugs for the most part of her day :)

snow lover

 

 

Jerusalem is...hysterical.  She is so fun and such a blast.  She is the most easygoing kid I ever knew.  She's supper coordinated- athletic and loves to play.  She loves to joke and laugh- she is constantly hiding and popping out on me, which she just thinks is hysterical!  Mike and I have cried laughing at her facial expressions she makes- I've never met a funnier kid!  She's thoughtful, considerate, and has great manners.   She loves to read and is so bright.  She's more social and is more willing to chat with you and make friends.   She loves music, singing, and reading her Bible.  She is so full of joy and she is such a blessing to us!

Princess obsession- teaching herself piano already

Jules favotite spot to be

 

 

 

 

to be continued ;)

 

 

touchdown in Addis!

My husband along w/ 4 other guys from our church are in Ethiopia for 12 days.
I'm living through them right now.

There were some mixed reactions from the twins about daddy going back to Ethiopia.  One of them was having a really hard time the day he left and finnaly she said,

"mommy, when daddy come back- he'll look different!"
  I was so confused and reassured her that daddy will look the same when he returns.

She said, "No!  When Azmera (birthmom) go to hospital and I no see her for long time- she come home- I go home to see her- I walk out crying because she no look like my mom!  I said, 'you not look like my mom! See!  Daddy come home as different daddy!"

Wow- what to say to that.  These girls have been through so much and I still have no idea of what crazy ideas and concepts are floating around in their heads.  Our realities are just so different- it's hard to reassure kids who came from hard places.

Her sister chimed in, "It's ok daddy go- he go help- he go do God's work!"

Amen!

PS. Mike please dont get too tan, cut your hair or loose any weight for the sake of your daughter!


Here's the team's blog to see updates!

http://www.helpkorah.org/

Swimming!

So, there was a lot of hype for these poor girls about swimming.

It started out w/ our photo albums- they were mesmerized w/ the "big water"  aka. the ocean...which they have never seen before. 

 

Then in a bag of donated clothes for the twins we found a few 1 piece swimsuits with matching water shorts.  I begged them to try them on but did I mention to you that these girls are Modest with a capital M!  Which of course if a good thing but when you want to take them swimming- that became a bit of an issue.

They could not believe that I own a bathing suit for myself- even when I told them that I swim with my water shorts on!

 

This weekend we pretended to drive to home depot (because you know- doesn't every family go there a few times a week?) and after a while Jacob noticed that the GPS stated that we were 5 hours away from our destination.  We surprised them to a weekend get-away in New Hampshire at a hotel w/ a pool.

Helen was screaming enthusiastically along w/ the other kids at the idea but quickly informed us that she will NOT be swimming.  Jules did not like the idea of being surprised, "Why you no tell us?  Crazy."  She seemed a bit nervous and the 1st thing she asked me was if I packed her Tigrinya Bible.  In the secretive packing rush of things I missed that and she was crushed-  (she got the Bible in her own language for Christmas and since then she has not missed a day!  I know- what a bad mom!)

 

Helen's 1st question was if I brought her doll...check.

  

So before hand, I scoured many a stores for boy style trunk shorts for girls- to no avail!  When we got to the pool on the 1st night- Helen stood firm and sat in a chair- with her winter coat zipped up- and watched us all swim- trying to take it all in.

 

Jerusalem wanted to swim but had to be convinced that wearing her sweats and sweatshirt in the water would not work out too well.  She reluctantly put on a suit w/ the shorts that in her opinion was way too short- and kept her t-shirt on too.  I walked out of the hotel room wearing a black cover-up..like a sun dress- and they could not believe that I was stepping foot in public showing so much of my legs!  (I might add here that they were also enthralled w/ the fact that they can see my blue veins through my pasty white legs..nothing like being laughed at for not only your choice of clothes but also your veins...sweet huh ;)

 

Once we made it to the pool

Oh boy- did Jerusalem LOVE it!!!  At 1st she was very nervous and scared of going too deep.  Before long she was jumping in the shallow end and dunking her head up and down.  Whenever we tried holding her belly and having her kick her arms and legs to teach her how to swim she would scream- she was so scared of being dropped.  She preferred to bounce around splashing and  flailing her limbs and screaming at the top of her lungs.  To be honest- there were times when I'd want to whistle and  turn my head-  like that, "who's child is this?" time that mother's sometimes have. 

 

Those times included were when  poor bikini clad women entered the pool area and Jules mouth would drop and she would say to me, "Oh my goodness mommy- america crazy!  Underwear!!!!!???"  Even after I explain to them that those are bathing suits for swimming they would argue - "No- underwear- ewww!" 

See the crazy eyes! So the 1st night Jerusalem would not get out of the pool- Mike took all the kids back to the room while I stayed in the pool w/ her until after 9:30!  I dragged the girl out because I've never seen eye's so blood shot before in my life!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The next day Helen did not have to be asked twice...she was in- yes fully clothed :)

 

She too liked it but was a bit less dramatic about it.  She wanted me to spend alot of time teaching her how to swim and started to get frustrated when she couldn't.  Even after explaining that it takes some time to learn- they both thought they should learn right now!  Jerusalem's conclusion, "see, mommy- I eat too much food- tummy to big- I fall down!" 

 

So final conclusion- they loved the pool, they are mad that they cant swim, they think american swim wear is crazy, and I promised to find some cute surf suits for them- in pink and yellow accordingly. 

 

 

Who knew?

I'd say it started when Jerusalem saw me throw a pair of Jacob's sweatpants straight into the garbage.

She did not like that.  She took them out and asked why I just threw away his pants.

I showed her the stains that would NOT ever come out and the Large rips that were not even worth mending.  She has seen me donate bags of clothes in those bins around town so I explained that these were just no good- even to give away.

She shrugged and said that in Ethiopia she mended her rips ;)
  I asked her if she and Helen knew how to sew by hand and they said yes.  I was a bit impressed but forgot about it.

A few weeks later Sova brought out her sewing basket to make a pillow for her doll.
As I sat with Sova helping her get started the girls eyes lit up at the thought of actually sewing items for their dolls!  All I had to give them was some felt scraps and some lace trimmings. 

They sat down to work and when I finished with Sova and walked over to them to help them 'get started' this is what I found:

Jerusalem made the most beautiful pillow!



Helen made an impressive assortment of doll clothes including a doll apron and nana helped her sew a matching skirt for herself!

Caleb soon realized that his "Lamby" was naked and wanted to make him clothes too!

Here's Sova's doll skirt

Helen made Jacob a case for his Kindle and then Jacob made her a case for her mp3:

The sewing took on a life of it's own and so did my living room:

 

 

 

The next day I let the kids each pick out some cloth at the fabric store for their own creations....

 

WOW!  Not sure what I was thinking- next time I will definatly go ALONE :)

Besides that fact...they were all pretty excited to get to work!

Jacob made a Patriots pillow:

Caleb made a monkey pillow and a sleeping bag for his Lamby :)

Helen got a little ambitious and started cutting out patterns to make her own clothes!

 

 

 

While the blizzard was entering the state we drove to nana's house to use her sewing machine- beacuse this stuff is just that important ;)

 

 

We had one tired nana and 3 very happy girls!  :)

 

 

So who knew...I have kids that can sew...

I'm not crafty but I always wanted my kids to have some type of hobby like this.

 

That evening I was choping venecin that Mike hunted earier this year, the kids were all sitting by the woodstove sewing and listening to the book on CD,  'Little House on the Prarie."

 

For  just a moment I felt like a true hometeader :)

 

 Jacob wants to open up a business called:  "A.I. E"

 

"American. Indian.  Ethiopian."   :)